it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
