You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
