Say something about gay babies.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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