he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
