yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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