Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
