If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
