hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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