Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
