So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
