Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I need a beard to bite.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
