I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
