It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
