fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
