what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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