I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
