new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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