tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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