Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
