so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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