I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I seem to have left my pride at pride
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
