so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
