I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
