I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
