My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There's always time for handjobs
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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