i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
