I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
