i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
