I want to walk on stilts...naked
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
