I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize