Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
