dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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