Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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