Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Quick, to the slutcave!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
