i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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