Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize