Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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