I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
