I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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