ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
