the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
