right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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