he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Randomize
