I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
