I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
