I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
