My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he thought i was a dude.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
