i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
