I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
