I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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