This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
