We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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