Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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