Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
