How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
