He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
