is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
