All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
