my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
